"So, how is she doing?"
"How is she adjusting?"
She is doing as well as I think can be expected for a child who has left everything she knew behind. She has had to learn a new language, adapt to new smells, new caregivers, a car seat, new food, and on and on. I can hardly imagine leaving all I know behind and not having some feelings of grieving and homesickness, even if that homesickness was for a less than ideal location. I have to face it...she was in a less than ideal location for the first 20 months of her life. She has also lost the mother that carried her for approximately nine months prior to that. It is so hard to even imagine the magnitude of change that has taken place and the ramifications that change will forever have on her life. I pray that we can help her navigate with grace the emotions that she will process throughout her life.
I don't think we will ever be done adjusting.
She is doing well, but there are still times that I can tell she feels "off." I know we all feel that way some times, but I don't know her well enough to know if it is just an off day or something adoption related. For example, when I pick her up in the mornings, she doesn't snuggle on my shoulder like my boys always have. She stays stiff with her head erect, even if she isn't upset. Yesterday, she fell out of the chair. She hurt her head, and I picked her up to console her. She did not want me consoling her, and she started crying even harder. So then I didn't know what to do. Do I put her down and let her "get over it," or do I try to show her that I can comfort her when she is hurt? She continued to protest, so I finally set her down at my feet close to me. She pulled up her collar, stopped crying, and started sniffling. I then picked her up to try again to comfort her, and she started in again protesting, arching her back, crying, and sweating. Finally, I got up and walked around the house humming to her. She then settled down, rested her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. As I rocked her, I tried to decide if I had won the battle.
After she woke from her nap, she brought me a toy. We sat on the floor and played with it. She smiled and waved and played with the toy as we interacted.
Does the whole situation put us one step closer to a healthy secure attachment? I hope so, but I don't really know.
Does she know that I will try to comfort her when she is hurt? I hope so, but whether or not she will allow it, only time will tell.
She is getting more comfortable with our family and with our routines. We are having so much fun getting to know her as she settles into our lives. We are so blessed.
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| At the park. |
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| A day I dreamed of, ever since Papa gave us this wagon last Christmas. |
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| Sneaking down the steps together. |
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| She loves to swing. |
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| Licking the spatula, an egg free cake for Thomas! |
I will continue to post about adoption and Anna here, but I am going to transition most of my posting to our family blog. Started mainly for family and close friends, if you are really interested in our normal everyday lives, you can find us here:
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