Waiting Child Adoption

If you know much about the current status of China adoptions, you know that people who are now traveling to pick up their "healthy" babies have been waiting for over five years for their referral. Those who are starting process now are estimating over eight years to wait for a referral, if the "healthy" child program is still around. There is a lot of speculation about why the number of healthy children being referred has dropped, but I don't know the real reason. Regardless, those who are now getting their referral were told 9-12 months when they started, and the number of healthy children being referred significantly dropped around 2006. We knew that in order to pursue an adoption from China, it would be from the waiting child program, also known as the special needs program.
We requested information from two agencies back when adoption truly became an idea we wanted to pursue. Both sent beautiful packages about their programs. One even came with a pretty folder with a ribbon around it, and the other had a moving DVD included. I continued to research adoption and agencies and programs and costs and qualifications until I was feeling quite crazy. Then, I found http://www.chinaadopttalk.com/ and http://www.nohandsbutours.blogspot.com/ . I sent out a message on the forum asking for recommended agencies. I joined the yahoo groups for those agencies, neither of the ones whose packages I had received earlier. I lurked and lurked on the yahoo groups. One time, I even sent a request about a little girl only to find out that she had just recently been chosen to join another family.

We finally decided that we felt comfortable with certain special needs, like club foot, minor heart conditions, missing fingers or toes, or birthmarks. We knew that we wanted to maintain birth order. Matt graduated with his MBA mid-December, and we send in our application the next week to Bay Area Adoption Services. Just after Christmas, I was looking through the list of children available for Bay Area to place, and I saw Anna's face. I knew she was young. I knew that she would probably be chosen quickly unless she had a significant special need. I knew that we still had a lot of paperwork to complete before we would have our dossier to China. But, I still emailed the coordinator and asked to see the file. Her special need was hydronephrosis. Sounds scary, huh? A quick google informed me that it was a very common issue with newborns...fluid on the kidneys. I also learned that it would range from something a child could outgrow, to something that would require surgery to fix, to something that would cause a kidney to stop functioning. Her referral stated that an ultrasound showed the hydronephrosis on one side. That was a very good sign, as many people live with only one kidney if needed.

Our coordinator locked her file for us. Since her need was not one that we had originally considered, we had to let our social worker know to add it to our homestudy as an approved need. Actually, I haven't seen another child since then with hydronephrosis listed as their special need. It has made it difficult to get much information from other parents as to what to expect. Cleft lip/palate and heart defects and limb differences have their own yahoo groups! Anyway, we decided to take a step out on faith and bring Anna home.

We have been home one month now. We have already had an ultrasound and VCUG (to check the bladder for reflux) and a urine culture. The US confirmed she still has fluid in her right kidney's upper lobe and that her left kidney is normal. There was no sign of reflux or urinary tract infections. We saw a pediatric urologist this week. He is sending us for an MRI of the renal system to figure out exactly what her anatomy looks like. He is thinking that she has a duplicated ureter (you are only supposed to have one per kidney). If that is the case, she will have surgery to fix it. 

I have met so many amazing families through this process.  I have learned so much about the medical needs that these children have and what it takes to treat them.  I have been told that in China the families do not have medical insurance to treat children.  The families feel that they have no choice but to give up their child, and due to the law, it has to be done anonymously.  If a family is only allowed to have one child, they need a healthy child on whom they can rely in their old age.  Again, the family is put in a difficult situation if their child is born with a special need.  This happens regardless of whether the child is a boy or girl.  The choices that these families have to face is far beyond my comphrension.  I am so thankful Anna's family chose life for her and delivered her to a safe place so that she could join our family.